


One Last Goodbye

by DragonGirl420



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-11 11:09:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16474424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonGirl420/pseuds/DragonGirl420
Summary: Dean needs to say a final goodbye, but will he be able to go through with it?





	One Last Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Written for @waywardrose13 Halloween Angst Challenge. My prompt was Ghosts. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, and the Halloween part of the fic is really just mentioned in passing, so my apologies.

“Are you  _sure_  you want to do this?” Sam asked carefully as his brother tore down the backroads towards the old house. Sam swallowed nervously as the Impala’s tires whined with each curve Dean navigated.

He was angry and determined and anyone who knew Dean Winchester knew that was a dangerous cocktail.

“Dean?” Sam queried again when his got no answer. Dean’s eyes didn’t move from the road in front of him, nor did any sound radiate from his lips. He simply allowed his silence to answer for him. “Look, man… I know this is hard. Its Halloween, which is bad enough, and its been a year since—”

“Don’t,” Dean growled, cutting off any further mention of it.

“Dean. Come on. I know this is hard—”

“I know you do, Sammy. But I am doing this. You don’t have to come in. If she’s not there, I’m gonna torch the place.”

“You can’t do that, that’s someone’s home,” he replied with a quiet rationale that made Dean roll his eyes.

“Like I care!” he growled again through gritted teeth. “That…  _place_  is where she died. If she ain’t there, its just gonna be a giant bonfire.”

“And what if she is? What if the dream you had is true? Hm? Then what?”

Dean considered his brother’s question but shook his head in refusal to answer. To him, all that mattered was finding out why she never crossed over. After the recurring dreams he’s had since Y/N was torn apart by a werewolf, he was convinced she hadn’t and needed to be sure. It was bad enough to lose her from his waking life, Dean sure as Hell wasn’t going to let her linger, stuck, in the afterlife.

“It’s been a year, Dean. A year to the day—”

“You think I don’t realize that?!” Dean barked and yanked the wheel, taking the turn down the old dirt road far to fast. The Impala’s two left wheels left the ground for a moment, causing Sam to hold on for dear life and worry even more for his brother’s wellbeing.

“You need to slow down, Dean. I know you’re angry, I know you’re hurt. Losing someone you love is… it’s the worst pain you’ll ever feel. But she wouldn’t want you going off half-cocked.”

Dean heard everything Sam was saying, and in his mind, he knew that his brother was right. Y/N wouldn’t want him chasing her ghost. She’d want him happy and moving on, that was their pact after all. But he couldn’t shake the recurring dream about her. Her spirit lost and wandering the hulking, broken down old house for the past year; it was killing him. He had to know one way or the other.

The car finally pulled to a stop outside the chipped and faded exterior. Dean’s memory flashed a bout of Déjà vu as he closed the car door and moved to the trunk. Sam stayed put, he didn’t budge and that suited Dean just fine. Once he got what he needed from the trunk, he paused at the passenger side window and bent down to peer inside at his little brother.

“Coming?”

“No. She wouldn’t want you to do this. Its Halloween, and—”

“Exactly. It’s Halloween. Isn’t the veil thinner then? There’s some lore somewhere on that, right?”

Sam raised an inquisitive brow. “Not that I know off.”

“Well, in my world it is, so…” Dean shrugged and stood up straight. “I’m going in. Halloween and lore be damned.”

[Originally posted by subcas](https://tmblr.co/ZmDUpm2ErmIxg)

 

“Please,  _please_!” you begged, desperately clawing at the sleeve of her jacket. “I have to. Please not yet, just give me a minute!”

The woman turned slowly, her face blank with indifference. “No,” she replied flatly, denying your request with no consideration.

“I won’t go. You can’t make me!”

“Oh, but I can. This has been going on far too long now.”

You froze, refusing to move until she turned completely around to face you. The woman with the dark hair and determined eyes finally relented, but her scowled warning made you wary of pushing your luck. She was terrifying in her demeanor, and while you didn’t know what was waiting for you on the other side, you needed to fight for at least another few minutes before you left.

Though your body was long gone, there was an ache in you that hurt more than thrashing your flesh took courtesy of werewolf that killed you. It had happened right in the room where Dean was now sitting with the Ouija and desperate to know if you had lingered.

Billie had come a few times to try and convince you to go with her, but leaving Dean forever was not an option yet. Not at least until you could have a chance to say goodbye. That was something you knew he needed too.

Your spirit had watched helplessly that night, as Sam helped Dean carry you out back and build the pyre for your funeral. It had been a full moon, on Halloween no less, and you all thought a simple werewolf hunt would go smoothly, then you could go for some beers and candy at the local bar. But things didn’t go as planned.

Once the deed was done, Dean had been too angry to realize you were still there and bound to the necklace that survived the fire; the necklace he’d given you. Sam tried to tell him to slow down, take it easy but Dean didn’t listen. He was ready to burn the whole place down, but just as Billie appeared to take you, you reached out and touched Dean’s shoulder. When you said his name, he closed the lid to his zippo and stood perfectly still.

Despite his simmering fury, his breathing shallowed while his eyes became bright and wet with tears. “Y/N?” he rasped, but once Sam came back into the room, you felt your essence being pulled back by Billie.

Not knowing how you managed it, you escaped her and have been doing so for a while now all in the hope that Dean would come back. She told you that you could release yourself from the bind you had to the necklace. You didn’t have to be stuck and lingering. But you didn’t listen, didn’t want to believe her because that meant you could go and leave Dean behind for good.

You waited for what felt like forever, but Dean finally returns. It just so happened to be at the moment where the reaper insisted you release your ties and go with her.

“I won’t leave him… not yet.”

“You will, actually. He’s alive, you’re not. Time to go,” her impatience was growing, but you didn’t care. “I am so sick of the Winchesters getting what they want, and you’ve been a pain in my ass since that werewolf ripped your heart out. Yet here I am, still trying to do my job and help you both to move on, but in true fashion, you’re both being giant headaches.”

“You don’t understand! I need to talk to him… just one more time. Then, I’ll go. Quietly,” you pleaded, and turned around to see the outline of his profile in the distance. “Billie, please.”

Her mysterious brown eyes coated you with mistrust, but you thought maybe she was reconsidering. The reaper crossed her arms over her chest and gave you a once over. “You have five minutes. Then, we’re leaving.  _BOTH_ of us.”

You nodded sharply and quickly moved in Dean’s direction. He was bent over the Ouija, the candles flickering with the movement of your entrance. His head shot up, the moment you were beside him and you knew he could feel you.

“Y/N?” Dean’s voice cracked. He drew in an unsteady breath and held it as he sat up on his knees and rested his hands on his thighs. “Baby, if you’re here. Please… I just need to know if you’re here.”

Using all the energy you could muster, you sat across from him and concentrated on touching the wooden planchette to get it to move. At first, nothing… but when you looked at Dean and saw his face twisted in agony as his eyes feverishly searched the empty room, a rush of adrenaline surged and the piece slid across the board.

_I’m here…_

Dean’s green eyes went wide as he watched your message unfold. A whimper escaped his lips along with a rush of air he’d been holding onto.

“Thank God,” he whispered. “Are you alright?”

Putting all your concentration into the board, you moved the piece to  _No_.

“Are you stuck?”

 _Yes_.

“Dammit,” he growled. He stood up and slowly looked around the room. “Y/N, I—I need to see you, please…”

You wanted to show yourself, so desperately, but you didn’t know how. No matter how much you tried to manifest, how much you  _needed_  to, you couldn’t. You went back to the board and waited for him to look in its direction. Dean caught the movement from the corner of his eyes and watched as you tried to get your message across.

_N-E-C-K-L-A-C-E_

At first, he didn’t understand. Dean watched in curious despair as you spelled the word over and over again until he finally caught the meaning. You smiled to yourself as he tore out of the house and out the back door to where the remains of your funeral pyre were just as ghostly as you were. Most of the ash and debris had been blown away in the year since your passing, but Dean knew the spot, regardless.

He dropped to his hands and knees and began rummaging through the wet leaves and bits of charred branches that remained. You watched, helplessly from mere feet away as the man you love shifted through a year’s worth garbage to find a simple silver necklace that in no way should have survived. Yet…

Dean’s hand touched against something cold and wet. He held his breath as the chain tangled around his fingers and the pendant came free of where it was stuck in the muddy remains of long dead grass. The charm that dangled from it, one he hadn’t seen in a year, broke the angry façade he’d been wearing for the past twelve months. He clutched it tightly and swiped at the tears falling freely down his cheek.

“Baby… are you—”

Once he held the object, you felt a surge of energy bounce through your ethereal form, almost like you’d had a mild electrocution. It started slowly, but your spirit’s light became visible, from the top of your head down to your feet, you were now standing before him and he could see every inch of you.

“Dean,” you said, your voice airy and soft. “I’m here.”

Dean stood, the necklace now absently tangled in his fingers as he reached out for you with his other hand. He caressed your cheek, as best he could, and in his eyes, you saw the pain that had moved in there. He looked different, much more tired and worn, that impish life that twinkled in his eyes was gone and replaced by a year’s worth of heartache and anger.

“I dreamed about you, that you were stuck. I had to—had to know for sure,” he said, not able to take his gaze from you.

Could a ghost, cry? You didn’t think so, yet, you could feel the haunting streaks of tears that weren’t there rolling down your face. The love you still carried for him engulfing you and pushing you towards him. “I couldn’t leave you, not yet.”

“Dean…” Billie’s voice cut through the cold night air, causing him to turn quickly in her direction. “Dean, let the girl go. It’s time for her to go.”

“Billie? How…?” he held up the necklace and looked back to where you were, but you blinked out, scared of Billie forcing you to go.

“Its time for her to leave, Dean. You and I both know it.”

“No,” he furrowed his brow and set his stance ready to fight the reaper. “She comes with me.”

Billie smirked. “No, she doesn’t. When are you two going to learn that the afterlife isn’t yours to play with? That girl needs to move on. She needs to and so do you.”

“I can’t!” Dean roared, “She wasn’t supposed to die!”

Billie was unmoved by his display of emotional anger. She’d seen it all before. “Oh, but she was. It was her time, Dean. Just like its going to be your time before you know it. If she’s stuck here, who’ll be waiting for you upstairs?”

Dean paused, trying to comprehend Billie’s warning. “Upstairs? Since when does my ticket take me there? Hm? I’m just as unwelcome in Heaven as I am in Hell.”

“There you go again, Dean. Thinking just because your name is Winchester, that you are of such immense importance. You’re not. When you finally die, and you will finally die… there’s a tiny little piece of Heaven carved out just for you. Way in the back, where your soul can wither away into oblivion with hers and I don’t have to see your face again.”

He narrowed his eyes at the reaper. “And if I don’t… comply? If I just leave and take this with me?” he asked, holding up the necklace he’d given you, “if I just get in the car and drive away?”

“Well,” she considered and unfurled her arms, “I guess you’ll eventually have a vengeful spirit on your hands that you’ll have to lose all over again. Up to you.”

Your spirit watched the exchange happen from the safety of the house, but you could hear them clearly. You didn’t want to lose him, but you didn’t want to become a burden and hold him back. Deciding to finally do what was right, you went through the exterior wall and back to the confrontation unfolding before you.

“Dean…” you spoke up, causing him to whip around and see you again. His face softened immediately, a sad, wistful smile playing at his lips. One tear spilled from his lashes and sped down his cheek. Even Billie couldn’t deny what she saw there.

You saw her roll her eyes and shake her head. “I’m going to do this against my better judgment, but I swear, if you don’t start following the program after this, Dean, you and me, we’re gonna have a problem.”

He was going to ask what she meant but was distracted by your ethereal form turning into solid mass. It was an odd sensation, to have any sort of physical feeling again. The cold air suddenly hit your skin, and you could feel the slight breeze nip at your nose. You held up your hands and noticed you could no longer see through them.

Dean didn’t hesitate. He rushed at you, throwing the full force of his body against you and swept you up into his arms. His embrace was so tight, nearly bone crushing, but you didn’t care. To feel his flesh, the heat of his body and the smell of his hair, this was the only heaven you needed or cared to know.

His hand pawed at your back, the other still holding the necklace, tangled up in your hair. Dean’s mouth found his way to yours, and despite the fact that you weren’t truly alive, the way his lips felt when they met with yours, certainly made you feel alive. His kiss was tentative and sweet but still raged with longing of so many nights in years past that you had laid together, tangled up in the sheets and within each other.

“I love you,” you rasped through his kiss. “I love you…”

Dean couldn’t speak, he kissed you again, and then just stared into your eyes with his hands now holding your face.

“This is goodbye, isn’t it?” you asked, the sound of your own, real voice, unfamiliar to your ears.

He nodded, unable to fight the emotion that was spilling over. “It is,” he managed to get out.  

In the distance, a car door closed, and you heard the sound of leaves crunching under boots approaching. Sam rounded the corner and froze when he saw you in Dean’s embrace. His face wavered, unsure if he should be happy, or ready to fight.

“Dean?” his voice was shaky, his body tense. “Y/N?”

“Hi Sam,” you said and smiled wanly.

He couldn’t reply, he just continued to approach you slowly, flicking a glance between you and Dean as he did. “How?”

Dean held up the necklace and Sam realized what had happened. “You know we have too—”

“I know,” Dean interrupted. “I know.”

You gave Dean a knowing look and tried to offer him a comforting smile. “I’ll be waiting for you, okay? But, don’t make it anytime soon.”

Dean’s jaw clenched as you moved away from him. You could feel Billie’s presence lingering and knew that it was finally almost over. When Dean didn’t move, Sam went about gathering some materials to start a fire to burn the necklace. When he lit the match and the embers starting to filter up into the late October sky, Dean’s eyes stayed steadily on you and burned with defiance.

Your solidity was fading, you could feel it, and it wasn’t what you wanted. You didn’t want to leave him, and it was killing you that you had to.

“Dean,” Sam prompted gently, “the necklace.”

You tried to speak up again, tell him one more time that you loved him, but you couldn’t. You were a specter again with no voice. Without saying a word, Dean let the chain fall into the fire, pausing for a moment to look up at you one more time. He still never spoke, and once the chain was melting against the flames, he simply turned and went back to the Impala.

Sam looked up from the flames and saw you were gone. He stood waiting for the fire to die down and made sure the necklace had melted with it. When he finally made his way back to the Impala, Dean had started the engine and was staring out of the driver’s side window, lost somewhere in the depths of his own mind.

[Originally posted by frozen-delight](https://tmblr.co/ZSx6ko2btVVIS)

 

It was a long, quiet ride home. Sam went straight to his room, as did Dean without acknowledging what just happened on that heartbreaking Halloween night. Once in the safety of his closed door, Dean dug deep into his pocket and pulled out the charm that had lived on the necklace. It was the one he had made special for you. He held the silver heart in the cup of his palm and squeezed it. Dean ran his thumb over the engraved part on the back where it simply said,  _Forever_.

He expelled a deep breath and wasn’t surprised when the air turned cold enough for him to see the tendrils of it rise from his lips. When he turned again, you were there.

“I couldn’t—” he started, but his voice broke down before he could finish. “I just couldn’t let you go.”

You smiled and reached out an ethereal hand in his direction. He couldn’t touch you again, but he could see you, feel you around him. Neither of you cared about Billie or the repercussions. You got as close to him as you could and as best you could, lightly cupping his cheek.

“I love you,” he rasped, “forever.” 


End file.
